Friday, January 30, 2009

What have you done?

I am going to change the color to red for everything I have done. If you want, try this on your own we go.....

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis (Not by choice)

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (Constantly doing that)

15. Adopted a child (I had started the adoption process on two little girls, but things fell through)

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (That's the best!)

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping (Yes I have but I'm not telling with who, or when)

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (Yeah, Nebraska . . . my family is from Nebraska) Whoo hoo!

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelos David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted (Yeah in 3rd grade in water colors by my friend Gwen) :)

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp(I scrapbooked my mom and dad's Poland album, it was like I was there)

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

100. Read an entire book in one day. Give it a try!

Leave me a comment here if you do post it because I would love to see other peoples' answers!

Tim got home last night

I was expecting him about 8 and at 6:45 he snuck into the house, he was walking into the family room before me or the dogs even realized he was there!

I screamed "Oh my God!" and ran to him. The dogs all started barking and jumping! We were all thrilled to see him!

So we ate dinner, and just chilled. I think between working so hard in New Mexico and that long drive he was exhausted. Plus he has been sleeping on his friend Jim's pull out sofa bed in his Motor home . . . so Tim's back has been hurting.

He laid down in our bed and sighed with happiness!

I laid down beside HIM and sighed with HAPPINESS!

Today he has some errands to do, and I will go toodle around with him, probably most of the time wrapped around him like a CHERI~COAT!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Scrapbooking today

I always feel as thought I've accomplished so much when I get a day to scrapbook . . .
So here are the layouts I created today.

This was Tony's first Halloween, he was still such a tiny baby that I don't really count it, but Alex wanted them to both be bunnies . . . so they were.

This is me and Jaqui, her dad did a photo session of us, before my wedding . . . this has always been one of my favorite pictures from the wedding.

I Accidentally double exposed the film, so there is this great picture of me and Jaqui, and then in the background there is a wedding picture from my first hubby's best friends wedding . . . I think it looks pretty cool, especially the stained glass light coming in on to me and Jaqui. this photo was taken on my wedding day before we started getting ready. I think I have some cool stickers to put on this lay out too . . . I didn't do it yet . . . so it looks a little on the plain side.

This is the only picture that was taken when I met my biological father's mother, my grand mother. I met her and my biological father for the first time when I was 28.
Tony when he was a baby . . . I made the Elephant embellishment myself, from my own design! I'm thinking he is pretty cute, and I'm really proud of him.

These photos were taken at Tony's 1st birthday . . . this lay out is for Alex's book so it's mostly of Alex and the things he is doing. (They were so stinkin' cute and sweet! I wish they didn't have to grow up, and they could have stayed little like this forever.)
Avery the handy man . . . I love the wood paper, and how this all just flows together . . . I have been wanting to make this lay out for him for a long time. My dad cut out the cartoon a long time ago and I have been saving it to put with these pictures!~

Former hubby #2 . . . Halloween with sparkles on his face . . . I'm still scrapping some of the pictures from my life with him . . . I'm just not planning on doing a lot of journaling (I'm really not that nice of a person, and think I would end up saying too many bad things if I did much journaling on the layout from that part of my life. . . . but it was a part of my life, and in my way of thinking, scrapbooking is telling a life story . . . he was a part of mine . . . so I guess I need to include him.

I like this lay out a lot. These are picture of me and Jaqui and Lorinda . . . we had gone up the mountain to do family pictures with me and the boys . . . and just happened to take a few with my girls too . . .

A fun day at the amusement park . . .

I didn't think I would like the color combos on this one, but I ended up really liking it when it was done, It was a simple lay out, but still nice.

What is the strangest thing you have ever put on a scrapbooking lay out? I have scrapped toilet paper, and paper towels, and now DUCT TAPE. This lay out will go in Avery's book . . . this is his best friend, he's on the smallish side, and so my boys had him stand on a chair and they duct taped him to the wall and then pulled the chair out . . . and he just hung there. So to me it was fitting that I put duct tape on the lay out.

So those are the lay outs I did today . . . it was a productive scrapbooking day!!


Its been slow in the store the last couple of days . . . so I'm bringing some of my preplanned lay outs to the store to work on! Kathy the lady who works for me is coming in today, on her day off to work on her scrapbooks too!

I love the days when I get to be creative for myself, rather than for everyone else. I have 152 preplanned pages ready to get done. So I am hoping to put a dent in those. And you would think with that many preplanned pages, that I would be out of pictures, but I still have TONS of pictures!

I have been keeping up with Tim and My album . . . and I'm fairly close to having Tony's album totally done . . . then I can concentrate on catching up Alex's and finishing Avery's, I have 2 more years to get Avery's done, (Before he graduates) So I'm really hopeful I can accomplish that.

My mom wants me to scrap all of her vacations . . . so I told her to go through her pictures and write on the back of each picture, when it was and what they were doing . . . She said to me, and I quote "That's so much work!" Hummm . . . isn't it more work to actually scrap the pages when you don't know what was really happening. I made her Poland album . . . and with as much as I love my mom and dad I didn't really want to talk to them by the time I was done with it. They didn't write ANYTHING down, not where they were, not what they were doing, not what was going on . . . NOTHING! So I had to research each picture . . . and figure out what and where, it was horrible hard . . . but it is done, and I never have to think about it again! Happy Happy!!

So I hope all of you are scrapbooking and if you aren't, at least label and dated and document what is happening in your pictures, so if you ever do decide you want to scrapbook then . .. . you will have it all handy and know what was going on!!!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Till Thursday~~~

So I want to share with you how excited I am . . . Tim will be home THURSDAY!!!!!!!! YIPPPEEE!!!!!!! I have missed him so much! So don't expect to see me from Thursday till Tuesday . . . (If I can keep him here that long- I think he is actually supposed to be back at work Monday . . . but . . . . I'm bad and will try to keep him here as long as I possibly can!)

I can't wait to see you Tim, I miss you so much!!!


I accidentily changed my blog language to Arabic today . . . and then couldn't figure out how to change it back . . . just so you know, the squiggly writing is nearly impossible to "READ" if you don't know what you are looking at.

I'm at the store and this computer is horribly slow, so I had to call Gennae to see if she could change it back for me.

She said she would do it . . . and a little while later I get a call from her and she was giggling, "How did you do that??" She managed to fix it for me! So now we can all read what I have to say again . . . thanks to Gennae! The goddess of the Blog!!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Thank you for the love . . . .

I feel like I've done nothing but whine lately . . . Tim is gone, Tony wants to go, Alex wants to go, Avery is grumpy, I'm sick, I have a stalker . . . .

Well, today I want to thank everyone for their love . . .

I am so blessed with people who love me and have given me love that I'm overwhelmed with it. What a joy and blessing!

So here is the short list. If I have forgotten someone or something, forgive me . . .
~I have a good home and I'm happy and contented here.
~I have 3 beautiful boys who fill my life with joy, laughter and tears
~My mom, dad and Aunty are fantastic! and supportive of me in everything life throws at me.
~I have TIM! (need I say more)
~I have the support of my friends . . . you know who you are! You guys are wonderful and I'm truly blessed to have you.
~I have a beautiful extended family . . . a sisters, nieces and nephews . . . I'm grateful for all of them.
~I have my scrapbook ladies who make me smile and are always a pillar of strength
~I have my pets who are with me and ALWAYS happy to see me.
~I have my faith . . . although it isn't a "Church" I feel very spiritually connected to a higher power and know that with faith everything will work out.
~I have loved and been loved by many people . . . and that fills me up in the quiet hours . . .
~I have found pieces and parts of my family that I thought were lost forever . . . Welcome back to my world, Jessica, Justin, Jeffrey, Kayla, and Samantha . . . I'm happy you are here!

My friend Mac teases me all the time, she says "Cheri you have a GREAT BIG HEART and a TEENY TINY BRAIN" . . . my heart sometimes gets me into trouble because I do everything with all my heart . . . and it gets hurt easily . . . But I don't know that I would change that even if I could.

I love all the people who are in my life, and I thank you for the love you give back to me.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

A stalker . . . from long ago, returns

I got this message a few days ago (don't worry Tim, I have not gotten another one) from a guy I dated about 5 years ago. He was a Rocket Scientist. We dated for about 6 months, give or take. He went loopy in a crazy way and I stopped seeing him and talking to him. I didn't talk to him for several years, then one night when I was on the computer I got an IM from him, saying, "I'm rereading Moby Dick, do you know what the first line in it is?" Well of course I do, so I wrote back "They call me Ishmale (SP)."

That was my first mistake!!!

He continued the dialogue and wanted to get together . . . ok that was my second mistake! I'm too nice and forgiving!

I got together with him and the first thing he said to me was "I'm BACK!" and he thought he could just step back into my life like he had never been nuts. I saw him like 2 times, and then realized that he was still CRAZY and that I needed to get him back out of my life again.

That's when the crazy stalking started. YIKES! Finally I had to have Drew call him up and tell him to leave me alone. (Thankfully I have a fairly good relationship with both my ex hubbies)

I have NOT heard from this guy (I call him "The BAD TIM") in over a year . . . I assumed he would never contact me again after Drew told him to leave me alone . . . but a couple days ago I recieved this message through one of my floral wire service . . . (Why would he write me through my wire service!!!)

Message from Tim Gallegos:

This message is for Cheri.


I know I am not on your list of favorite people, and I also know that I am a favorite on your list of not so favorite people, but I am trying to bury the hatchet with everybody I've ever offended. I forgot your personal email address. things are going well for me. I have a great new job in Thornton making decent money, I have a new place so close to work that I can walk, but I usually ride my bike in. I am desperately in love with a fabulous woman (Beautiful tall redhead with big knockers. Consistent at least, huh?),(Ok, is this freaky to more people than just me!!! . . . is he finding women who look like me to date? Should I be freaking my self out even more than I already am?) and I'm finally at peace with myself. The worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life was to lose a friend. I'm not trying to fly back into your arms or anything like that. I just want you to know that if I ever offended you I am so sorry and wish that I could buy flowers from you again. You are one of the best, Tim

I can only imagine what my wire service people are thinking when they are reading that message!! UGH!

I didn't repond to his email . . . and I'm not going to . . . I just hope that if I don't repond, that he will leave me alone. Who would have thought a Rocket scientist would be this dense! He just needs to go away from my life . . . and never darken my door step again.

My concern now is that he may think that I didn't get the email from the wire service and try to get a hold of me some other way . . . (big sigh) I don't want to write him but I don't want him to think he can keep emailing either. I guess I don't know what to do . . . he seems to have some sort of mental block where I'm concerned and doesn't realize that I don't want to talk to him, hear from him or see him.

So if you see this guy skulking around REPORT HIM!

I guess this wasn't a very nice post . . . sorry . . . but I guess I would rather be safe than sorry . . .

A zoo of sickness

I have been sick . . .

Feel over all just totally ran down and icky . . .
My chest is so tight it feels like an "elephant" is sitting on it, and when I cough it sounds like a "seal" barking . . .
Between the holidays, and now getting ready for Valentines day, and Tim leaving, and Tony wanting to go, and Alex wanting to go . . . and Avery being Avery, I think I'm just ran down.
I have spent the last three days laying on the sofa drinking mint water, and watching movies . . .
I have slept tons, so I guess the movies were watching me, rather than me watching the movies.
I need to be well before next thrusday, Tim will be home Thursday night!!!! So that's my goal, No more sickness . . . and then Valentines is not that far away . . . so I have to be well for that.
UGH . . . I think I will go lay down some more and rest, just thinking of Valentines makes me want to huddle up under the blanket!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Happy Birthday Alex

Alex is 21 today!!!! Today it's official, my son is a MAN!

Today is my tribute to Alex! . . . ok, I'm allowed to be a "Gushing mom" "A Proud Mom"

When Alex played foot ball in High School, they had parent appreciation night . . . and this was one of those nights where I felt "my cup runneth over" I was so happy and proud of my boy. Just like I am every day . . . every day that I see what a great "MAN" he has become.

A little about my boy~ Alex was born in Maryvale Arizona. He was 8 pounds 10 and a half ounces. I thought he was going to be a girl, so I was very surprised when he popped out and was a boy. He was beautiful and perfect.

This is a picture with his "Great Grandpa Shorty". Shorty was in the nursing home with Alzheimer's, and they brought him outside to see all of us, and the orderly came out and said "Shorty, who are all these people?"

Shorty said, "I have NO Idea, but they are all here to see me!"

Alex was walking around in his walker on the patio and Shorty wanted to hold him. So we let him and Shorty kept saying "He sure is a heavy little fella!"

I really don't know how he got to be this old. In my minds eye, yesterday he was just this little sprout, with the longest legs I had ever seen on a child. His legs went all the way up to under his neck, and then he had a head! :) He was sweet, and thoughtful, inquisitive and kind.

This is a picture at Tony's 1st birthday party. Alex, Colton and Sean were supposed to be painting pictures on poster board, but decided to paint each other instead. Too cute!!!

He has had a hard time the last few years. When he turned 18 he was super excited, he figured he was an adult.

18th Birthday on the 21st.
Cut his hair in to a Mohawk on the 23,

and then cut his finger off on the 25 . . .

It was a wild week for us. (That's the understatement of the year!)

his first official signature was done with his left hand since his right was all bandaged up.

He had to quit welding school because of seizures, and it kind of threw his life into a tail spin. He knew exactly what he wanted to do, and then he couldn't. Now with the seizures managed, the doctor is thinking to clear him for welding school again. (I'm both excited and terrified by that prospect.) He would like to go to Ohio to some fancy schmancy school there. (needless to say, I don't want him to go either . . . I'm kind of one of those moms who wants to keep her kids with her all the time.

My boy has always marched to the beat of a different drummer. He is a little "quirky"

My son, the "PRINCESS?????"

A self portrait~ He took it when he got bored at Christmas eve dinner.

Alex and his friend Eddie had to get up and speak at a foot ball banquet, and Alex tied his tie around his head and went up to speak . . .

He's silly and strange and wonderful! I love this boy so much . . . UGH! I guess I can't call him a "Boy" any more . . . well, maybe I can, he will always be "MY LITTLE BOY"

He was at work yesterday and texting me.

"how do you feel having a son who is 21?" He said to me

"You are not 21 yet!"

"ok tomorrow I will be 21, do you feel old?" (He's a punk!!! )

"I called the Easter bunny and Santa Claus and told them you were bad this year, so your birthday has been cancelled. You don't get to be 21" This is my standard answer every year!

"Well then I guess you get 2 birthdays this year, so you will be REALLY old!!!"

He's pretty funny!

I guess a lot of kids would want to go out to a bar and drink, but my son is silly, he called up the other day and asked me if the stock show was still in town, I told him yes, so he wants to go to the stock show for his birthday and walk around with a beer and look at the animals. (Just so you know, he has never been a rural kind of kid) so I thought it was pretty funny!

Happy birthday Alex! you are much loved by all of us!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Alone again . . . naturally (As the song goes)

I guess the reality of my situation is hitting me full force . . .

I came home from work yesterday and Avery was upstairs watching tv, as soon as I came home he went down stairs. Ok . . . what ever . . . he is not the most social of people.

Tony was at work . . . (Yippee! he got a job) and he didn't come home till 5, and then he and Avery went to dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's right away. (Tony goes today for his physical for the Marines. Is it bad that I would like him NOT to pass the physical? *big sigh*)
Alex isn't around much. I guess that is typical for him. (Tomorrow he turns 21, I can't believe he will be 21!!! How did he get that old?)

Tim is in New Mexico . . . (Did I mention how much I hate him being in New Mexico?)

So I was home . . . alone again . . . Me and the 5 dogs and 2 birds . . .

I find that as long as I keep myself REALLY busy, I don't cry too much. (Sorry Tim, I know you hate it when I say how sad I am . . . ) So I have been trying to stay really really busy. So I don't have the opportunity to realize I'm sad or alone. Busy is good.

I put a movie to run on my computer and sit and make greeting cards for the store. In the last two days I've made over 60. So yesterday I decided to watch "Gone with the Wind" That's a really long assed movie, but it gave me something to do . . . and it was interesting to watch while I made cards. I like Scarlet . . . she's a bitch, but she gets things done. Nothing was going to keep her from moving though her life, nothing was going to keep her from surviving. I like that about her . . . and DANG, what a beautiful woman, I always wanted to have dark hair and blue eyes like she does . . .

At one point in the evening I got up to go down stairs and the house was so quite . . . the boys were all gone, the tv down stairs was off . . . most of the lights were off . . . and it was just me . . . me wandering around this big house by myself. I guess I never thought of this house as "That big" till I'm alone, and wandering around it by myself in the dark.
So back up to my office I go, back to my card making and Scarlet O'hara . . . but even with keeping myself busy . . . I feel the emptiness of the house, I long for the noise, and the chaos.

I'm keeping busy and moving through the days . . . I'm working on being ok with the "Alone-ness", and I WILL master this, me and Scarlet O'hara . . . we are both strong women!

I am now obsessed with this baby~

Hoping and wishing she recovers fully

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Slipping through my fingers

Ok I know I'm a geeky, weepy girl right now . . . That's not in dispute. So today while I'm making greeting cards for the store I'm watching Mama Mia on my computer. There is a song in the movie called, "Slipping through my fingers" And as I was watching and listening to the words I started crying. So here are the words . . . I changed the "She's" to "He's". It seems very fitting . . .

Slipping Through My Fingers

Schoolbag in hand, he leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smileI watch him go with a surge of that well-known sadness

And I have to sit down for a while

The feeling that Im losing him forever

And without really entering his world

Im glad whenever I can share his laughter

That funny little boy

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see whats in his mind

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

He keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, he and me at the breakfast table

Barely awake, I let precious time go by

Then when he's gone theres that odd melancholy feeling

And a sense of guilt I cant deny

What happened to the wonderful adventures

The places I had planned for us to go

(slipping through my fingers all the time)

Well, some of that we did but most we didnt

And why I just dont know

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see whats in his mind

Each time I think Im close to knowing

He keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture

And save it from the funny tricks of time

Slipping through my fingers...Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand he leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

Kendra and the belly

Yesterday I got to spend some time with my friend Kendra . . . it was so exciting! I adore Kendra, we go WAY back.

When Alex was just a tiny sprout, about 18 months, we moved into our first house, and Kendra, and her sister Gennae moved in next door. Kendra was 11, and Gennae was 12, Kendra became Alex's best friend!
She baby sat him all the time and when ever she was out of school she would come over and visit him and he would call her "Kenna" and take her hand and pick a book and drag her into the little tent he had in his room, and she would read to him.

So as Alex has gotten older she has always felt as thought "Alex was her boy" Gennae was always closer with Tony . . . Its funny to me to see how quickly time goes by, because I "know" in my heart, the boys are still little, but I think sometimes Kendra and Gennae are also those little girls that moved in next door to me. I was with them for all of their major life events, first days of school, graduations, marriages (This is Gennae's wedding picture)
and babies. . . (Kendra is due in June with a fantastic baby boy)

I guess this is another of those moments where I am feeling as time has gone by too fast. Even though there is a decade or so separating me and the girls in age, They are some of the best friends I have ever had.

So with me being Blue lately, I think the girls decided I needed an outing . . . (Too sweet) Kendra called me and asked me to go on a "Date" with her. So we met up at the movie theater and watched Bride wars, it was cute! Then we came home to my house and sat and talked, its super nice when you have someone in your life who you have such history with that knows "almost all your stories" and who you can say something to and they know where it's going and how you feel.

It was really a great night . . . and I enjoy having time with her so much.

I have been making baby blankets for the baby and couldn't decide which one I wanted to give her, so I showed the two I was thinking of, and she looked at them, and then smiled at me, "I want them both!" ok . . . she can have them both, and probably 4 more because with Tim gone I have a lot of time on my hands, (The baby will never be cold). That's the funny thing with old friends is that they can tell you the truth and what they are really thinking and wanting . . . I love that!

This thought brings me full circle, this tiny baby in Kendra's belly, is hopefully going to be someone I get to spend a lot of time with, just like she spent time with Alex, I want to be that baby's "best friend", I want to crawl into its reading tent and read it stories, and go to the zoo, and play in the front yard with it in the sprinklers . . . I want to be the kind of friend to her baby as she was to Alex . . . I hope I have the opportunity.

So I want to thank Both Kendra and Gennae for being such great friends to me.

Also, I want to tell Gennae "Happy birthday, we thought about you a lot last night and wished that you were there with us celebrating your birthday, because we both miss you so much. Thank you so much for being a great friend to me. I love you."

And as for you Miss Kendra~ "You Rock!" :)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

My little boys

Click to play My little boys
Create your own scrapbook - Powered by Smilebox
Make a Smilebox scrapbook

I have been thinking a lot about my boys and when they were little . . . I'm feeling very "Schmultzy" ~ go figure!

Friday, January 16, 2009

The potential of the Marines

I don't want to get into a political discussion . . . That is not my intent. As this is "MY" blog, I am going to post my feelings and thoughts, when I am on a public forum I refrain from truly voicing my opinions. But this is MY place to move though the things going on in my life right now. I don't want to be rude or offend, but . . . I am entitled to my opinions, and will post them freely on this blog. If they offend you, please feel free NOT to read my blog any more.

Tony has been thinking seriously about going into the marines. And it hurts my heart, first of all, I don't want him to go, secondly I don't want him to be away from me, and third there is a war, and I don't want him to be in a war.

I'm a bit of a pacifist, and "know" in my heart there has to be a better way of dealing with other countries than fighting with them. On the other side I know that there has got to be a military, and I'm happy and proud that there are people serving our country. I just don't want it to be one of mine . . . I know, that's hypocritical . . . but that's the way I feel. Maybe someday I will feel differently about it, but today, with the potential of MY boy going, I am feeling very hypocritical.

Typically, all the people in my life are very supportive, They know I'm not a big military fan, I just want to keep all my people close to me, not off in some other country fighting a war and potentially dying.

I received a message this morning,

Cheri I have been following this and don't understand why you are so against the military. I realize that it is scary to send a child there but we have our rights because of these very brave people who have volunteered to serve. We live in a country where we are free to make these decisions. Other countries have forced kids from a very young age to do this. If your son wants to do this. Support his decision with pride. He will grow by ways you can't even imagine while serving. It is amazing to me what maturity returns when our local boys leave and serve our country. I realize it has been a tough week but your son is doing a good thing by serving our country.

Humm . . . my first reaction to this is, "if you are so happy and proud, then you send your kids . . . but leave mine alone." I don't know if this person has children or if they are old enough to go into the military . . . but it's one thing to think of the potential of this happening "someday" and something different, when you are faced with the reality of it. The reality of your child being away~ that baby you nursed at your breast, who you taught to walk, watched grow and go to school . . . been with for every major life event, from the moment they were brought in to the world as a crying baby, to when they graduated from high school and walked up on the stage with pride and a bit of a heavy heart, That's MY baby!

Despite knowing that you did a good job and you raised a wonderful successful child, it's over, your "Baby" has grown up, and there is a bit of a heavy heart, at least for the parents who have loved their child/children, supported every step of the way their child/children, and really loved parenting. Which I have! I have loved every moment of being my boys mother . . . even when I didn't like them or the situation very much I have always love being a mom!

Maybe I'm having a hard time with this because I'm not ready for him to stop needing me, I'm not ready for him to be a "man" yet, I'm not ready for him to go off and start his grown up life, I'm not ready to sit and watch the news every day to make sure that there is no war where MY boy is, and to know that I'm not there to protect and keep him safe.

I would lay down my life for all my boys . . . I would go to war and be on the front line to protect them. But I don't think they allow Moms to go to war in place of their boys . . . I don't think they let moms attend boot camp with their sons, and bring them cookies and make sure they have clean socks and warm clothes and full belly . . . I don't think they let moms come and make sure that they are associated with good people and that they do the right thing, and get a good nights sleep.

So what does a mom do when her child goes away to the military . . . cry, worry, ache . . . I guess if he goes, that's what I will do . . .

With all that said, I guess I'm back to my original thought. If the military is so great, you send your kids, and leave mine here, and I will happily mail the cookies to your child, because I want mine here with me.