Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
He is super angry . . . and really doesn't want to have the Chemo treatments . . . I think for him he thinks that it shouldn't be this hard to live . . . He has has a tough life.
Part of me understands. Part of me doesn't.
Alex and I were talking about Thomas, and he said "Mom would you want to go through Chemo again knowing what it was like the first time?"
I can't say I would . . . but the selfish part of me doesn't want to give up on Thomas . . . The selfish part of me wants to have him with me all the time.
Right now he has some sort of infection in his throat that makes eating and talking really hard, he's angry and in a lot of pain. He's yelled at his nurses and told him to leave the room. He has even pulled out his IV . . . So part of me wants to smack him, and part of me wants to hold him till the end and let God have him so he doesn't have to suffer any more.
Just writing those words makes tears come to my eyes . . .
So what to do?? Do I tell Thomas it's ok to die? that if he is done fighting that it's ok . . . or do I tell him that he has to fight, he has to live because I've had him in my life for most of his life and I don't know what I'll do with out him.
I don't think there is a good answer . . . All I know is I don't want my boy to suffer . . . I don't want him to have pain . . .
Damn!!! I wish I knew the right thing.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
This is a tired girl.
The next morning after a good nights sleep, we were ready to take on Seattle!
The pier . . . it was really cool to see the boats and all the touristy things.
After toodling around at the pier, we went to Pike Market . . . it was SO COOL!!! Loved it . . . they throw fish, and there are all kinds of different vendors there, it's loud and colorful and I loved it!
The next day we rode the monorail to the Space needle
They told us it was originally painted orange!Being up there makes me think of a song, "I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find is the love that I've found ever since you've been around" (Don't you just love the Carpenters?)Its a long way down!!!
The next day we took a ferry ride to Bainsbridge and had breakfast.
What a beautiful little town!!
On the way back we had a coast guard escort!! To me this was pretty scary!!!!
Us on the Ferry!
The last day we took the Duck tour . . . it was fun. . . hard to believe this thing could go in the water and on the roads . . . the captain was funny and we had a great time.
I liked Seattle! I wish that I had been packed for a vacation like we ended up having rather than what I thought we were going to be doing, all I had was sweats, so it made the things we did rather limiting.
On and we also went on the underground tour . . . I almost forgot about that!!
Someday I would love to go back to Seattle!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
It doesn't look too bad from the outside.Woo hoo! Opening the door to our NEW HOME!
Tim takes a step "Back" to admire the wonderfulness of our new "Big Pink Short Bus" ! (Or maybe he took a step back because the smell assaulted his senses!)
the first thing we see when we look in is the sofa, with this big 1x4 all rotted out and laying on the sofa, with other hunks of brown rusty stuff .. . . (I don't even know where this board was from) The cupboards are all moldy and rusted out . . . and warped and fungusy . . .The roof above the drivers seat and passenger seat is falling down,
Its so rusted out that the wood under the metal roof is coming down . . . Well I guess if we hit a rain storm on the way home, we will get a shower.
Apparently from driving it the 4 miles to the Mechanic, all the cupboards cracked and started falling off. I wonder what it will look like when we get it home, after a 1200 mile trip?
They didn't even bother to take their stuff out of if . . . Ok, we can always drive by a dumpster and get rid of all of it.
The cupboards that are still on won't stay closed because they are so warped.
I opened the fridge and the handle fell off in my hand.
The floor of the "Big Pink Short bus" is covered with a crusty green fungus . . .
There is a leak over the sink . . . I never figured out where that was coming from.
The bottom of all the furniture is crusted with brownish green water damage.
I looked at Tim and he looked at me and we decided not to get the "Big Pink Short Bus".
So how do we get home? When we were planning on driving the "Big Pink Short Bus"? We got tickets for a flight to come home Monday . . . and then we got a wonderful hotel room
French doors with balconyWe got to spend four days toodling around Washington and enjoying the sights. I will post more about all the fun we had another time . . . I need to call the doctor now, and see if I can get in to see him, with the Bronchitis I have had, the pressure in the airplane really screwed with my ears, and they hurt, and pop and feel juicy inside . . .
Over all I had a great time with Tim . . .and I got to see a part of the country I have never really seen before . . . So it overall was a great trip, minus the "Big Pink (And Green moldy) short bus"