says . . . "Everything can be different in a day." Ok mom, It's a new day . . . I'm waiting . . . Well I guess that only works for other people, I'm stuck in this craptactular crap fest of crap . . . New day . . . still crappy! Ok so two more things~ yesterday I was walking up stairs to get my sunglasses and Bailey
one of our schnauzers ran in front of my feet . . . and I fell down the stairs. It hurt, but today it hurts way worse. So you should hear the noise coming from our bedroom . . .me moaning and groaning from falling down the stairs and Tim moaning and groaning from the car accident. It would sound like a good time if I didn't know better! UGH!
one of our schnauzers ran in front of my feet . . . and I fell down the stairs. It hurt, but today it hurts way worse. So you should hear the noise coming from our bedroom . . .me moaning and groaning from falling down the stairs and Tim moaning and groaning from the car accident. It would sound like a good time if I didn't know better! UGH!And now for the second thing~ An apology. From me~ to . . . Everyone.
I'm sorry . . . I have been neglectful of my people . . .my friends and family and my kids . . . and everyone . . . Currently it is just so hard to talk . . . to be. . . I'm sorry. It isn't that I don't love you, or want to talk to you, I just can't find the strength to do it. I get the urge to talk, and before I can pick up the phone, it's gone. Right now, I spend a lot of time with Kennedy . . . she doesn't . . . expect (that's not the right word~ But you get the drift) me to talk, I talk to her and she smiles . . . there is no crap surfacing in my head . . . I don't have to think about my life, my pains, my hurts . . . it's just sweet baby smiles. . . and she sees me and her face lights up. The rest of the world falls away, I don't ache for Thomas, or miss my Jessie, or worry about the store, or think about the prospect of Jail for one of mine . . . I just get to smile. And those moments feel good. So please bear with me . . . eventually I will be over this . . . eventually I will be able to handle more than one thing at a time . . . Remember that I love you . . . all of you . . . but this is one of those moments where I just am not coping very well.
Well . . . It's early . . . maybe the "new day" thing my mom talks about doesn't start till after 9 am . . . A girl can hope.
Love you all . . . truly . . . I do.
Don't you dare apologize for life!!! Life is a crazy ride that takes up to the highest highs and the lowest lows!!! I also have been out of commission for a while and sometimes you just have to tuck inside yourself and live in some sort of denial so you can be happy for a while!!! Totally understood!! Big, big hugs my friend and remember you are never alone!!!! Love ya!!!
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