Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Inspirational??

Yesterday I got an email from one the the ladies in a on line group I belong to . . . And It touched my heart . . . Here is part of the email.

"I had joined ***** (A group I belong to- but don't think it appropriate to post here) just about the time you met Tim and from what I gather you had gone through difficult relationships.

(That's an understatement!!!)

My friend has a good heart but she has attracted bad relationships and this last one sucked just about all of her self-esteem out of her. Any advice for me to help her besides reminding her over and over again that she did nothing wrong and that those guys were not good for her (which she knows on one level but I guess it's hard for her to really believe right now).

Your story is inspirational you sound very happy."

I am very happy!!! I love Tim with all my heart! He is the best man I know (outside of my Daddy!) Tim has a great heart and has brought so much joy and love to me. But I don't that my story is "inspirational". Although I'm flattered that someone thinks so . . . I struggled for a long time, a very, Very, VERY long time, to figure out what I needed and wanted and why I kept ending up with the bottom of the barrel rather that the cream of the crop!

I think we all need to take time after coming out of a bad relationship . . . and figure out what we "learned" from it. I know that even from the bad parts of life, if we learn something, then the "adventure" of living through those bad times are worth it. Look for the lesson.

When I left former hubby #2, I was devastated . . . and it took a really long time to move beyond that "Wanting to run him over with my car~ hurt him as badly as he hurt me" kind of thing, but I realized after taking the time (I was single for 6 years) that I did learn something from Former hubby #2, I learned how strong I was, how when I really truly believe something that I "Draw my line in the sand, and if someone crosses it that I make a move . . . I learned that I love deeply and truly, (And on the flip side of that, Some people don't love that deeply, it isn't wrong that they don't love like that, but it's as though they never truly give all of themselves over to the love~ which for me seems strange. In Cheriland, when you love someone, you give all that love over to them, let the love fill you up, it isn't as though you are empty when you give it away, you still have all of it within you . . . its just like the more love you have, and give, the more love you have to fill you! I love that about love!)

I guess I need to address here, that everyone moves at their own pace . . . and for me what took 6 years to move through might only take someone else 6 months. Everyone moves at their own pace, and the pains in our hearts heal at different rates. I know I had love and support as I moved though the pains . . . and I know that a lot of my friends wished that I would move through a little faster, but to truly heal takes time. And no one can do it on anyone Else's time frame.

I was at church once (I know that might shock some of you! But yes I was at church!!) and it was like the minister was speaking directly to me. Which again just proves to me, the right things come to you at the right time, if you leave it to a higher power. So here is what the minister said. Life is full of peaks and Valleys. When you are at the happy parts of your life, you are at the top of the peak. Life is good. But you can't always stay up there, there are valleys too, and as you move though life, you have to go through the valleys. But, it's your decision on how long you stay in the valley. You can move steadily through the valley, walking, putting one foot in front of the other in a steady way . . . or you can run though it. Or, (What I sometimes do) build a house in the valley, and set up housekeeping. How long do you want to stay in the low points of your life? Where is your house? Is it in the Valley? Or up on the peak?

I want my house up on the peak, and even when I was S-L-O-W-L-Y moving thought the valley, I always had my eyes on the peak. I knew what I wanted . . .

I believe in ~ True love, "Happily ever after" and Soul mates. And I know in my heart of hearts that my God provides for me all the things I want and need. But it's not always on my time frame. Sometimes you have to wait to have all your dreams come true. I believe God has a plan, and sometimes, we have to step back from our wants and desires, and let nature take its course.

I waited and waited . . . And now, Happily I have Tim, someone I can spend my life with . . . loving and knowing that he would never hurt me on purpose. (I would never hurt him on purpose either) It took time . . . time for me to heal from my past . . . time for me to realize that not every man I was going to allow into my life was going to hurt me, time to trust . . . time to believe. Time to grow, time to know.

So, if the story of my hurts and growth and love are inspirational, I don't know . . . but if it helps someone to grow and believe and love again, then I'm happy to share it!

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