Monday, July 26, 2010

I had a bad day

Well it wasn't really a "Bad" day, it was a good day, but I had a bad time.

Mac and Ellen are getting married August 14, and I'm going to be standing up for Mac! I'm super excited! They deserve to be so happy. . . I just wish that the state would acknowledge their marriage . . . but that's a topic for another day . . .

Mac was bringing me a photo to put on the poster I'm making of them for the wedding, a sign for people to sign . . . It's turning out so pretty.

So Mac and I started talking and the topic came around to Thomas . . . My sweet Thomas!

And so I brought down his Album for Mac to look through . . . she wasn't able to come to his funeral because her father was having surgery and she needed to be there for that. I did understand that . . .

She was so wonderful about his book . . . she took the time to read everything and to truly look at it . . . I tried not to look at it . . . or read anything . . . but happened to glance at the page she was looking at, at the time. And it turned out to be the email Louise sent me telling me Thomas died. Words popped out at me, and I started to cry . . . And cry . . . and Cry . . . and Cry . . .

And Cry . . . and Cry . . . and Cry . . .

I miss him so much!

I don't know how to stop missing him . . . and I don't know why there are days when things are so much harder than others . . . why some days I think, "I'll be ok" and other days when . . . I just can't cope . . . I love having his book . . . all of his pictures . . . and every once in a while I will find another picture of him and get all excited . . . I love having my pictures of him.
8 months and 2 days today . . . that he has been gone ~

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