I'm so angry!!

I have had a friend for a very long time . . . since our Junior year in high school . . . I love him, but he is the stupidest most insufferable person on the planet. And I hate him right now. Ok I know that didn't really make sense, I love him but I hate him . . . I really do . . . I love NOT talking to him, and NOT seeing him because when I talk to him, he says stupid things, and opens his mouth and CRAP comes out.


So I'm not going to talk to him for a while, for a long while (potentially never again.) . . . I think that will be better for both of us.

Last night he called me, I hadn't been really talking to him because he has been doing really dumb things like taking back his wife after she was doing meth and having sex with other people . . . and trying to steal their kids. (As I type I am looking at my purse in this photo! That was a really cute purse, I wonder what happened to it?)

In my book those are unforgivable things, she tired to ruin him and the lives of her kids, she blackmailed him for money . . .and he tires to justify her actions . . . When all of this was going on, he would call me daily . . . sometimes several times a day and cry and talk . . . I was there for him, and then suddenly the calls stopped, his "wife" (I use the word loosely) was back . . . and he dropped me . . . Ok I know, I didn't think he should take her back, and made that known. But where is his self value? Where is the man who wouldn't have tolerated this? Where is the man who was clean and sober for years and then decided to drink because of her? (They went and bought a bottle together, how fun . . . an nice bonding experience~ UGH!!!!)

What gets me, is that he is trying to convince me he is right, and everyone else in the world is wrong. . . he is stupid! He didn't used to be so stupid . . . I don't know what happened to him.

Before I get to the real thing that had me up in arms last night, let me just mention, that since he started his job yesterday he said that he really needs the big kids home because his "Wife" has to be home with the little kids now that he is working. Ok?!? aren't those her kids? Didn't she choose to have them?? They got pregnant on purpose . . . that was their choice! Now she is upset that he is back at work after all this time, because now she has to take care of her babies. Ok, I have to say something, so if you don't like cussing, look away, she needs to get the fuck over it!! I guess she wants everyone in the house to be in the gutter with her . . . and her meth using ass! Grow the fuck up!

What we really ended up fighting about is ~ His step daughter Briana is a lovely young lady, bright, talented, smart and an over achiever . . . Most parents would be doing the happy dance to have a kid like her. She plays in several school bands and is on the student council, she wants to be the change she would like to see in the world. . . . She is a super neat young lady. I love spending time with her . . . she is someone you can actually talk to. Her school activities keep her from home a lot, but with a mother like she has, I would want to be away too. And for some reason, Roger and his "Wife" think that their big kids should have to take care of the little kids . . . ALL THE TIME! Like~ you can't go hang out with your friends because you have to take care of the little kids while I lay in bed and pretend to be sick so I can get pain meds and use drugs and sneak out the bedroom window to do bad things . . .

Since Briana is so active in school she isn't home much to do that . . . and when Roger's "Wife" went to rehab big drama happened and Briana left home (she had been witness to her mother's drug use before, and I think she just didn't have any tolerance for it any more.). Roger is trying to convince me that Briana shouldn't be so involved in school, that she should be home more . . . WHAT??!!?!? Why wouldn't he want her to get everything she can from school . . . and achieve all that she can . . .

Kids in the end of high school usually start distancing themselves from their parents, they all do it . . . so that when they leave for college or their next adventure it isn't so hard . . . having a mother who is a meth head and a step father who is an asshole probably makes it easier to distance your self . . . But with Briana it isn't like she is out doing anything bad, she is playing in the school band, and tutoring, and working with people in the school, and getting scholarships, and . . . So many wonderful things!

And my stupid friend wants her to stop doing those things! And my stupid friend wants to fight with me about this lovely young lady . . . saying he wants her to be home more, that she shouldn't be so involved in school. WHAT?!?! I would have been doing the happy dance if my kids wanted to be that involved in school!

I shouldn't have answered the phone when he called, but he had just had his first day of work in nearly 3 years and I was happy and wanted to hear about it . . . but he didn't really talk about his work . . . he got stuck on thinking that the big kids should be responsible for the little kids and have no life of their own. Those big kids didn't ask these stupid parents to run out and have twins so they could spend their growing up years taking care of those little kids . . . so the mother and father could do drugs (ok that's just the mother, well, kind of . . . UGH!) and run around like their pants are on fire . . . Those big kids didn't have those babies . . . They should be able to go play and have fun and experience life, not sit at home so that the stupid mother could pretend to be sick (for years) so she can get pain pills and drugs.

I don't understand the way he thinks . . . so he and I got in a big fight on the phone. I'm just not going to answer any more. I'm over it . . .

He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life and if he wants to stay with his stupid "wife" then he needs to be responsible for her too . . . HE and his stupid wife need to take care of their kids and let their kids be kids . . . He should be jumping up and down that he has such a smart young lady who wants to make something of her self and will do it despite her family! Kudos to Briana!! She apparently is the only smart on in that house (Excluding the other kids) But then she isn't in the house any more . . . she moved out! I have to say, I'm proud of her for taking control of her life and not letting her stupid meth using mother and her stupid step father drag her down so that she doesn't achieve what she wants out of life.

I'm done. I'm not going to talk to him anymore. I love him, but I can NOT go where he is trying to take me . . . and I have the choice to step back and remember the lovely man I used to know, and have good memories, or I can let hatred build within me . . . I don't want the hatred, so I'm going to step back.

Just like I tell the young girls who come to me with boy issues, "you can love some one, but that doesn't mean you should be with them." I love Rog, but I just don't like the person he has become . . . and I don't like how he treats his kids at all. I'm angry . . . I cried, he made me cry . . and I'm angry that he made me cry. So with this blog, I'm over it . . . I'm tired of allowing it to hurt me and upset me . . . so I'm done.

I love him . . . and wish him nothing but happiness, how ever he may find it.