Not a hero . . . .

I KNOW I have an angel (yes, my angel has a little bit of devil in him! I love that about him) with me . . . My Thomas is with me always . . . I feel it. I know it. I love it. There are days when he is more evident in my life than others . . .

Yesterday, 1-22-11 was one of those days . . .

I have had a lot of issues with this foot thing lately and feeling a bit out of sorts and what not, and it seems when I get to feeling like that, something happens to snap me out of it it~ or maybe I should say SLAP me out of it!

So back to my story~ I was at the store yesterday doing orders and working on store stuff, taping vases and getting ready for that ever so lovely holiday "valentines" UGH!

I was waiting on a teenage girl to come get her bout. (There was a snowball dance at one of the schools) and she was running late, 3 hours late, and though I needed to be at the store, I was annoyed that she was late . . . if you are going to tell me you will be at my store by noon, be there! Its just that simple. I was at the store late not only because of the silly teenage girl with Time issues, but because I was going to meet one of my brides at her hotel to see how a different wedding was being set up so we could get more ideas. So there was no point in coming home just to go back over by the store to the hotel.

So when I finally was on my way to the hotel, I called my bride.
No answer.
Strange.
I left her a message saying I was going to the hotel even if she couldn't make it, that I would look around and report back to her next week on what I saw. Pretty simple stuff.

I get to the hotel and park in the handicapped parking (I got a handicapped parking pass about 2 weeks ago~ Stupid foot issues) and I'm walking across the parking lot to the front door of the hotel . . . and I hear someone yell out. It wasn't a scream, it was more like a yell . . .

I look up and there is a man laying face down on the sidewalk. I yell over to him "Sir, are you all right?" I thought he had tripped and fallen. No answer. I yell again as I start toward him . "Sir, are you all right?" As I'm running, (Yes you can run and wear a cast at the same time, it isn't graceful and I shouldn't have probably been doing it, but oh well.) I am screaming at this point, "Call 911!" And then I'm there at the side of the man laying face down on the ground.

I roll him to his side. I'm standing over him my legs bracing both sides of his body. I'm holding his head up off the ground, he is bleeding from having scrapped his face on the sidewalk. His face is blue and his lips are really blue . . . his eyes are rolled up in his head. He is having a grand mal seizure. I know grand mal . . . we are on a first name basis. (My oldest son has epilepsy~ and I was with him the one and only time he had a grand mal) I wish I didn't know grand mal . . . it is one of the most scariest things I have ever witnessed.

This Spanish man comes to "help" (I use the word lightly) he keeps saying that the man on the ground needs keys in his hand and needs to play with keys. I'm thinking he is stupid and needs to shut the fuck up . . . but I don't say anything at this point.

Another guy comes and helps.

The seizure abates a little. . . And the guy on the ground tries to sit up. We sit him up, I'm standing behind him, he is leaning back on my legs . . . and he he is grabbing me and pulling me . . . I am talking calm to him . . . he keeps pulling at my sweater, and my shoulders, pulling me to him. I keep telling him "Everything will be all right" "I'm here with you." "I'm not going any where." I rub his head and talk sweet to him.

The "stupid man" keeps wanting to get my "seizure guy" up . . . and move him. Finally I lost it, his mouth had been flapping and he wasn't saying anything good or helpful. I told him to "Shut the fuck up! That he had no clue what he was talking about and that he was NOT helping and that he should get the fuck away." (Ok I'm not very nice. I have told people that several times and they never believe me. But it's true~ I'm not very nice.) Finally stupid man left . . . the other guy stayed and helped. He was actually being very helpful. He got Seizure guys phone out of his pocket and called his brother whose number was stored in his phone.

Hotel staff came out and stood around watching me take care of the seizure guy. Police officer came. Why is it if you need an ambulance you get police? If you need police you get firemen? I don't get it. So police man stood there and watched me take care of seizure guy too.

Finally seizure guy is semi lucid. He looks at me and says "Am I in trouble?" "No you're not. You had a seizure and I found you." I ask his name, he says "Brian" I tell him who I am . . . He asks me again "Am I in trouble?" "No, you aren't. Everyone is just here to help you." He looks at me with Bright blue eyes~ Thomas eyes . . .

Ambulance finally gets there.

And stupid Ambulance guy treats me like I'm stupid . . . ass hole. Hey, I was there and took care of this guy all this time, where the fuck were you . . . Eating donuts?? you took your time getting here. I don't say this, but if looks could speak, I'm sure he could hear me loud and clear.

Brian (Seizure guy) keeps holding on to me . . . they put him on the gurney and are getting ready to take him away. I tell him that he is safe now, and that he is in good hands (well at least he will be once get gets to the hospital ~ Ambulance guy was an ass!)

Hotel people are coming up to me and telling me I'm a hero . . . They are thanking me, and patting me. It was like one of those scenes from a movie. . . I'm numb . . . I didn't do anything other than just hold Brian and keep "Stupid guy" from doing more damage than good. Not a hero . . . I pull my sweater closed and close in on myself . . .

I go into the hotel, still haven't seen my bride.

The wedding that we were there to look at is all set up, but I'm in a fog. Wedding pictures being taken on the stairs so I go to the elevator, and there is this little old man being very confused. CRAP! Will this day ever end?? I ask if he needs help . . . he can't find his wife. He is VERY confused. So I help him. FINALLY go up and see the wedding set up (I forgot to go up to the ball room where the reception was~ Just totally slipped my mind.). . . and I leave the hotel . . . People are still stopping me on my way out of the hotel and telling me I'm a hero and thanking me for helping Brian. I just want them to stop . . .

I get in my car and start to cry . . . I call Tim and cry to him . . . I call Lorinda and Cry to her . . . I tried to call Mimi and cry to her but she didn't pick up . . . (Probably a good thing on her part! I was a bit crazy.)

I don't know why I was crying . . . I don't know what my head and heart were doing.

It was like I was supposed to be there . . . I was supposed to be crossing that parking lot at that moment . . . I was supposed to protect Brian from the stupid guy . . . I was supposed to be there. Brian had Thomas' eyes . . . He pulled at me, and needed me there.

I cried all the way home from the hotel . . . I came in to the house poured a cognac and sat down with my heating pad and cried some more.

My bride called me in the evening, and said that she was at the hotel . . . that she saw the ambulance , and thought it might be me there but didn't know . . . She and I totally missed each other. I guess I was supposed to be there for another reason.

Today I'm still a little freaked out . . . I hope Brian is all right . . .

I'm not a hero, I was just in the right place at the right time . . . I had an angel making sure I did what I was supposed to do.