August 26

Today would have been Thomas' 21 birthday . . . .

my sweet boy! I miss you more than words can say . . . you are always in my heart

I'm so depressed right now

I can hardly muster the energy to think, let alone~type.

I got a call from my BFF Roger last night . . . His wife Hileigh is the one I told you about that was using Meth, I did tell you that, didn't I? (About 2 months ago) Well, she went to rehab~ kind of, and got into some Meth study . . . and still continues to use meth. Hileigh ran away from home and threatened suicide. Roger found out where she was and called the police on her and they took her in to custody and have put her in the "loony bin" (For the life of me I can't think of the right word for loony bin . . . )

Hileigh is mad . . . she doesn't think she is doing anything wrong. (Right?!??! Meth is not wrong. Right?!?!?! Taking care of your children while you are on meth is not wrong. Right?!?!?!)
Roger is mad . . . he is hurt that she is mad at him, and he is just angry in general.

Roger keeps telling me that she is using meth because of her Fibermialgia (Sp). My friend Jessica's husband is one of the leading Neurologist in the world (he travels the world speaking on brain things). And he says that the united states is the only country that recognises Fibermialgia, and that it is treated as mostly a mental thing with most doctors . . . (I'm not explaining this very well~ sorry) And that usually with fibermialgia the patient has to have something else come up in their lives to take their mind off of it. Like when Hileigh was pregnant she didn't have the fibermialgia . . .

The kids are all a mess~ Which wrecks me more than anything else. Poor kids. I talked with Hileighs daughter and Rogers son last night. Jacob says "Family is falling apart." Broke my heart to hear him say that.

Currently Hileigh is on a 14 day hold . . . Roger is out of work . . . he is trying to find work or odd jobs . . . but he doesn't know what to do with the twins. Hileighs two daughters are here in Colorado with their grandmother. and their grandmother is trying to find the money to put Hiliegh in a 90 day program . . .

Roger is angry at the girls . . . (That's a long story) So Hileigh in her drug induced state decided that Roger was going to take the babies out of the state and leave her . . . Briana and Dakota had the babies in their room to keep them out of the fighting and scary things. Roger was not going to take them out of the state. That was simply something Hileigh had cooked up in her head. So Roger goes in to the room to get the babies and get out of the house for a while and Briana and Dakota won't let him take them. Because they are hearing what Hileigh was saying, and they are kids still . . . Big drama. Briana ends up telling one of her teachers what happened, and the teacher calls the police. More drama. So now, Roger is Angry with Briana for telling the teacher.

Then Roger is mad at me for saying that I don't fault Briana for telling the teacher and the teacher calling the police. It is the teachers responsibility to do that. To figure out what is going on and to protect the children. But Roger can't see that right now. he is so mad.

He is wrong to be angry at them . . . I don't know what else to say to him about it. He doesn't hear what I have to say. He keeps saying that she was wrong to tell the teacher . . . and I told him that she went to someone who she thought would help and protect . . . and that's what the teacher did.

So roger is worried that the twins are going to be taken away. He is worried that Jacob will go live with his mom . . . and at this point since Briana and Dakota are already with their grandmother and he is angry with them, he doesn't want them back. But then he complains that with Briana not there, there is no one to pick up the babies from preschool . . .

He's just so angry . . . and you know when you are that angry, you are angry at everyone and everything, and there is no logic or reason to what you are angry about. I was on the phone with him for over 2 hours last night . . . crying, and yelling and screaming . . . I would scream at him, he would scream at me . . . I would cry, he would cry . . . his world is falling apart and there is nothing I can do . . . Nothing.

Special friends, special times

About a month ago I got invited to be in a "Wedding"! And to do the flowers for it. I was so excited! You know how much I love weddings!!

This wedding was very special it was of my friend Mackenzie and her girlfriend Ellen! How much fun!

Well the wedding was this past weekend.

Here are some of the pieces ~ I always like to get a picture of the pieces just "chillin'" in the store, because then you can really see what they are, and how they go together.

This is me~ I think you probably already knew that . . . but every once in a while it's fun to throw in a picture of me~ Thank you Jaqui for taking pictures!!!!

A truly candid shot. This little sprout wanted to have some of her daddies beer. . .

I think she slobbered in his bottle!

This is Ellen in the Lavender and Mackenzie in the teal . . . These are our brides . . . in the before part of the wedding.

The pictures of the ACTUAL ceremony didn't turn out great so I don't have any that I can post . . . But here is Ellen right after, when they started playing the "Celebrate good times song" and everyone started dancing.

The happy Brides

this me again, how I looked for the ceremony.

Mackenzie and her dad. I thought it was so sweet.

Two of the greatest brides maids.

Do you know one of the things I do really well . . . TALK . . . I love to talk, I love to public speak I have so much fun at it . . . that if I see a microphone I just am dying to get behind it and babble!!! So I babbled a toast.

And then some of the rest of the bridal party came up and spoke also.

After the toasts Ellen and Bill sang . . . I love it when they sing!!!

When Ellen was singing some sweet song, Mackenzie and her Daddy danced!

Things were winding down and their kitty finally came out of hiding. And Ellen had a nice moment with the kitty.

Then they opened a few presents. It was a wonderful night. And I wish these two ladies tons of love and happiness! They deserve it as they are the best!!!

For me it doesn't matter who you are or what gender you are . . . life is hard enough with out being true to your self.. . . Its hard to find someone to love, someone to be with, someone to spend the rest of your life with . . . that if you find someone you need to enjoy it . . . be true to yourself and to love . . . and let life take you on the greatest adventure . . . Love is really what life is all about.

Make a wish~ Wine and Wishes event

Last night we went to a Make a wish event called Wine and Wishes . . . It was a fund raiser for kid who want a wish to go to Hawaii . . . which is one of the most expensive wishes they grant . . . on an average a night like last night, will raise enough money to send 7 kids and families to Hawaii.

So here we are . . . me and Tim, aren't we cute???


I did and donated the flowers for the event. My Name up in lights! I always knew I would be famous!!!



My sweet Timmy!!

These are two of our seat mates at our table . . . our whole table was wonderful!

The girl with the glasses has a team that walks in the 60 mile, Avon walk . . . Here is my big news! I just joined her team!!!! I will be walking in the Avon walk for Breast cancer . . . I'm both super excited and horribly scared. Time to start training . . . I have to get serious . . .maybe I'll loose some of my butt on the way!

Here is another of our seat mates- Duke.

Duke's boy had a wish, and he got to go to Alaska and do the Ididaron (SP). . . Duke was wonderful!!! and Duke's boys mom and dad were fantastic, sadly Duke lost his boy . . . there was a lot of that . . . families who were there because their child had had a wish before they passed away.

I only cried a little . . . I did get to talk about my Sweet Thomas! And share his beauty with those around us . . . I felt good being able to do that. And like I said, I only cried a little!

This young man is 13 he got to go to Hawaii for his wish . . . and told us how it was life changing for him. When he went to Hawaii last year, he was at the worst of his cancer treatments and was down to 67 pound . . . His story made me cry.

This little guy just got back from Hawaii last month . . . He said he went snorkeling and this "Crazy fish kept following him" He was so cute!!

After the speeches and a live auction, they had some Hula dancers and musicians! Nothing like half naked men! That's always a plus at any event I attend!!!

Me and my honey!!! Can you tell I had been both Drinking and crying . . . my eyes are very sparkly!

It was a fantastic event.

After it was over, we took our 4 bottle of wine we bought at the auction, and went to the little pub we like to go to.

Tim's BFF James met us there! And we had some food and great company!

Oh and just because I'm a nut . . . while we were at the pub, I noticed this girl was wearing this . . .
My fashion police sirens went off . . .

I had a dream

I was somewhere, walking, there were lots of buildings. . . houses like across this field, and a fence with an opening that I went though easily.

I was talking to someone . . . but at this moment I don't remember who.

I had pictures in my pocket (Wallet sized), and was looking at tons of pictures of Kennedy . . . her little hands and feet . . . of some yellow scarf she was wearing that had rainbow fringe and butterflies on the ends. (I think I should make a scarf like that)

And I started freaking out, because in my stack of pictures I couldn't find my pictures of Thomas . . . I flipped through them again and again . . . No Thomas.

So I started patting myself, looking for where else my pictures would be, and I felt something in my chest pocket. And there were my pictures of Thomas . . . Right by my heart.

Sick

I have been sick for the past 2 days . . . MAJOR tummy trouble . . . it has subsided some, I still have stomach cramps but the "Running at both ends" has stopped . . . hopefully it will stay gone!

I am going back to work today . . . I don't think I can take another day on the sofa watching cooking shows . . . Day time tv sucks!

The face of a hero

This incredible young man went above and beyond for someone in need . . . I can't tell you what he did or who he helped . . . but he was a hero . . . he helped someone out that was in a horrible situation when no one not even the parents would help. Then after the worst of the situation was over, he stayed and took care of them for 2 days, to make sure they were all right . . .

I'm proud to be this young man's mom. He is truly amazing!

School!!!

Alex is going to start College on Thursday!!! He will be going for Wind energy technology. I think he will do so wonderfully!!

Going back to school was his choice!!! And that makes me so happy! It's one thing when you MAKE your child do something, but something totally different when they make the decision to go and do it. This is one of those times when I'm so proud of him!

So here are a couple of pictures from the orientation~

This is a picture of the top of one of the wind "whoopdee" things . . .(no I don't think that's the words they use when they teach the class.) So the squarish thing is the Turbine . . . and then the propellers are attached to it and spin. Alex will learn how to build, take care of and maintain these things.


This is what a real turbine thingy looks like.

Another view

This is what I think is super interesting. This is the tube that will hold the turbine and propellers . . . this is one third of how long it is . . . So there are 3 stacked on top of each other, and then the turbine and then the propellers stuck to that. Basically it is like having a 747 airplane (That size) spinning on the top of this tall thing. Isn't that incredible?!?!?

Oh and that's one of the propellers laying beside the tube thing . . . that propeller is 35 meters long . . . and that's just one of them . . . the are three on each wind mill thingy.

They split up the parents and the "kids" (you know what I mean, he may be huge, and a man, but he will always be my kid) and As I was walking from one of my rooms to another one, I saw him sitting there . . . so I just had to take his picture, I'm geeky like that. He is the one in the black with the gray stripe.


I'm so proud and excited! I can hardly contain myself! I think this is going to be a great industry for him! And he will be on the front side of a technology rather than on the back side . . . I can't wait for him to start! It's going to be amazing for him.