I was making cards yesterday . . .

I was going through sentiments for Sympathy cards . . . and think of Thomas and wishing that some of those sentiments were what people had said to me, when Thomas died. (I wasn't crying or being overly sad, just thinking and wishing.)


And then the Mercy Me song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWMk_MoFTFM"I can only imagine" came on the radio . . . it's the song that I always think of when I think of Thomas!! I started crying and laughing all at the same time. And felt like falling to my knees and thanking God for that moment of "Thomas-ness"~~~ "Will I dance for you Jesus, or to my knees will I fall? I can only imagine."

In my head and in my heart . . . It was Gods grace, or my Thomas, or whatever you choose to think of . . . that was standing with me, holding me, making me smile, and laugh through my tears. And oh Lordy, was I wanting to fall to my knees . . . Laughing and Crying . . . It was truly an unexpected moment of Thomas-ness . . . I could feel that momentary connection . . . that LOVE.

It was truly amazing . . . It was one of those moments where you can actually feel the difference in the air . . . the warmth of someone one holding you . . . the comfort of a gentle touch, and the love . . . the greatest love of all . . . (As I write this, this morning I have tears in my eyes, recalling how it felt . . . )


I know at this moment you are probably thinking I'm a wacko . . . or that I'm a few french fries short of a happy meal . . . or that I was drunk or drugged up . . . but I wasn't.
I was just thinking . . .
I was making greeting card for the store . . .
I wasn't crying.
I wasn't sad.
I was just doing and creating . . .
being . . .
thinking of when I lost my Thomas . . . and the words that brought me comfort . . . those are the words I wanted to use to bring others comfort in my cards.


And then I was the one who got the comfort . . . I know it was Thomas . . . Just checking in. Letting me know that he is with me . . . always with me.

I can't tell you how much the thought of "Thomas always being with me" makes me so happy!!! That on occasion he lets me know that he is with me!!

To me today, I had a moment . . . It was unexpected, I didn't ask for it . . . but it happened all the same.

I just wanted to share that with you. (I hope you don't think I'm too crazy)

I wonder if everyone has loved ones who come to them . . . but they are too busy or not paying attention and miss those moments . . . I wonder if you have to be "quiet" in your head and heart to truly connect . . . I was having a simple moment . . . not a lot going on . . .

At any rate . . . no matter what it was . . . I had a blessing!!! It was mine, all mine . . . and I'm so happy and grateful for it! Thank you God! Miss you Thomas! Love you!