The most amazing thing

I am so blessed.
What a simple statement, but means so much.

After last years pain of loosing Thomas and then the rebuilding of my life again and figuring out who I would keep in my life and who I wouldn't and reinventing myself with my new sense of self, I didn't know if I would ever allow someone new to come in to my heart again. After all, letting Thomas in to my heart was what made it break so badly, right? (No not true, but sometimes in the dark days my heart felt like that.)

I cleaned house last year, deciding who would stay in my life and who would go. Who was actually a friend and who wasn't. Who shared the vision, and who didn't. Who had a heart filled with love for me, as much as I had a heart filled with love for them.

Late in 2010 I made a new friend. It was a "By hook or by Crook" kind of meeting, we are both "Friends" (I use the word lightly) of other people and kind of bonded over a dramatic "Friend" issue . . . but then the "Friends" kind of went away, and still we were there, still wanting to talk, still wanting to be friends . . . It's developed in to something wonderful.

She helps to push me to achieve my goals, and I help her to see how wonderful and amazing she is~ (No one has ever told her how great she is before)

So . . . here is why my word for the year is BELIEVE . . . I have been editing my books and writing again, and she has been helping me. I have 3 books ALMOST READY to start going out to publishers and agents to see if they will publish me . . . (Scary, but very exciting.)

Well she has been talking about a "Super secret Mission" for a long time . . . she was sending me a "Super secret mission" . . . she wouldn't give me many clues about what it was, and so I was totally clueless (Ok so most of the time I am pretty clueless~ but that's beside the point)

So yesterday my "super secret mission" came in the mail.


Woo hoo! I was excited to see what it was! the build up for this box was huge, and I was very excited to get it.

And when I opened the box the first thing I opened was a brandy warmer . . . Very cool! Love it, and then the second thing I opened was this really cool pear brandy with a real pear in the bottle (Apparently they grow the pear in the bottle) and then the third thing was a book . . . MY BOOK!!!!

My amazing friend MADE ME MY BOOK!! She had her friends make the pages and another friend make the binding, and another friend do the art work!! OH my FUCKING GOD!!! This is the most amazing thing I have ever received.

I saw it and teared up . . . the realization that my book could actually be a real book is over the top wonderful! Oh my god! I can't believe it when I look at it, it's my book~ MY BOOK!

I know that may not make a lot of sense to a lot of you, but to see my story written out and put into book form is like one of the hugest things in my life.

I can see my dream . . . I can see the vision of my book being a real book . . . I can see people sitting on buses and trains reading it. I can see women laying in the bath tub falling in love with my characters . . . I can see it! I can really see it!

The reality of my book being a "Real book" is there, its firmly planted in my heart . . . I can see it, and you know what they say . . . "If you can dream it (see it) you can achieve it!" I can see it!!!

I can really see it!!!

And I have my friend to thank for it. Thank you for making my dream and my story into a reality! Thank you for coming in to my life! You have made my life a better place!